SIR HUMPHREY, CABINET SECRETARY: Yes, Prime Minister? PRIME MINISTER JIM HACKER: Get Sir Humphrey in here, Bernard. NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR: If thinking so will make you stop that bloody noise, then yes.

THE PRESIDENT: Nukes are that easy to trigger? Please stop tapping out the theme to Ghostbusters on your keyboard now. NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR: That fires the nukes. You can also call on the CIA and the Military for more direct action, though at obvious risk of retribution if your actions are discovered. From the map, you can see what each nation is currently focused on, and apply pressure from numerous vectors-social and economic being the most important. Your basic tools revolve around influence rather than direct action. So, y'know.ĬHIEF OF STAFF: This would be a good time to show you some of your other options, Mr.

PRESS SECRETARY: On the plus side, you did get a popularity point for effort. For some reason, publicly slapping them in the face moved them to form a closer alliance with Iran and begin shipping weapons to our enemies. THE PRESIDENT: And that ends the Cold War. Might I suggest though that we first attempt to resolve our differences through a slightly less apocalyptic method? THE PRESIDENT: How many nukes do we have?ĬHIEF OF STAFF: Please tell me this is just for a trivia contest you're going to. Give me the word, and I can install a small team of specially chosen agents in the shadow of the Kremlin, who will work in the shadows to. THE PRESIDENT: Those are the baddies, right?ĬIA DIRECTOR: A most concise, even insightful view of one of the most tense political situations of all time. Sir, I suggest we focus our attention on Russia. This being 1990, I am now forced to ask if anyone wants coffee. I recommend you do something to establish your administration as an instrument of the American spirit early on. Your current popularity is 50%, which roughly means that given a choice between your administration and a house brick, the average voter would already be half-way down the street after telling our pollster that, sorry, they have somewhere really important to be. President, while we wait for this neanderthal to catch up with the world, I've prepared this report.

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